one of the things that i loved about barbie (2023) that i think a lot of the posts making fun of male-written reviews miss is that, though the movie presents itself as a commentary on the patriarchy and sexism, the message at the core of the film isn’t actually limited to being about (cis) women. it’s about anyone who is Other.
i went to go see the movie on thursday afternoon before all the big midnight premieres, and the theater was still packed. there wasn’t an empty seat in the entire theater. i had a seat at the end of the row, which i had picked out in a faint (futile) hope that no one would sit next to me. thirty seconds before the trailers started, a family of about 10 black people walked in and split up, presumably because they’d only just bought their tickets and there were no longer 10 seats together. the dad and the son, who was maybe a few years younger than me in his early-20s, a good foot and a half taller than me, and who i recognized as one of the football players at the local university, ended up taking the two empty seats next to me with the linebacker in the seat right next to me. and that was pretty much the last time i thought of them until the last twenty minutes of the movie.
see, in the last twenty minutes of the movie, america ferrera makes an impassioned speech about not just the limitations that male-dominated society puts on women but the limitations that women put on themselves in order to survive in said male-dominated society. it’s about the contradictions that we’re subjected to–you can’t be too much, but you can’t be too little either. you have to lift each other up but you’re also in constant competition with other women for the shredded dregs of respect that men have left over for us. you can’t say yes to a man because then you’re a whore but you can’t say no because then you’re a prude. it was passionate and bitter and furious and it had every woman in the theater, myself included, in tears.
and in the silence of the theater following america ferrera’s plea for barbie not to make herself less just so that society isn’t threatened by her, the linebacker sitting next to me said fervently, “i feel that.”
it brought everything to a screeching halt. now i’m a white woman, and though i’m fat and nowhere near as gorgeous as margot robbie, from the very first trailer, it was obvious that this was going to be a movie for me. and if done right, it was going to be a movie for all women (and i would argue that it was). but the thing that it also did right was that though the surface of the message was about women making themselves lesser, the core was that it was for anyone who makes themselves lesser to fit in. yeah, it’s for women who are trying to fit into a male-dominated society, but it’s also for bipoc who are trying to fit into a white-dominated society. it’s for trans people trying to fit into a cis-dominated society. it’s for gay people trying to fit into a heterosexual-dominated society. it’s for anyone who’s been Othered and has to shrink themselves in a desperate attempt to survive.
i love the posts making fun of male-written reviews that are butthurt that this movie isn’t for them just as much as the next person. but i think it’s important that we don’t forget that those are representative of the people in power, the people that could never understand this message. barbie is for me, yeah, but it isn’t just for me. it’s for my trans friend who is six feet tall and has a beard and wears pink dresses every single day because they make her feel pretty. it’s for my labmate who could practically be a barbie herself and irritates me every time she talks about thinphobia but also can’t find someone who wants to be with her because she’s brilliant and not because she’s beautiful.
it’s for the black linebacker who sat next to me in the theater and felt heard when a fictional character in a movie told him not to make himself smaller just to fit society’s standards.